Press Pause
By Candy O’Terry
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. –James Taylor
Contentment, serenity, love, joy. These four words elicit powerful emotions, don’t they? But here’s a soul-searching question: when was the last time you experienced any of them?
For the last few months, I’ve been on a journey toward slowing down. Ugh. I cringe as I type those two words because many people equate slowing down with laziness—and trust me, I’m not lazy. I’m driven. I’m wired for success. I’m a laser-focused multi-tasker with another dream to chase. But there’s nothing like a breast cancer diagnosis or any kind of serious illness to slow your roll and upend your life. Recently, I read a book called “Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy” by Matthew Kelly and it got me thinking: maybe I need to re-evaluate my priorities.
Time out. Maybe I need to press pause.
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from this transformative book is that speed and busyness are the enemies of joy and contentment. Think about it. When you are driving your car at top speed, the world rushes by. All the details of the landscape, the people, the places, and the things you pass are simply a blur. Your mind is focused on getting to where you want to go. When we live our lives at breakneck speed, we can’t engage because we don’t have time. Speed also causes our relationships to suffer. Living fast and busy causes us to miss all the things that make life rich and beautiful.
Make no mistake, slowing down is hard because our culture is hardwired for speed. Moving fast, getting sh*t done is the roadmap to success that women like me have been following for decades.
Case in point: a TV commercial in 1982 for Enjoli perfume. A beautiful woman on screen is dressed for success, clutching a wad of cash. Then, she transforms into a sexy goddess in a cocktail dress, ready to "knock her husband’s socks off. “The 8-hour perfume for the 24-hour woman.” Here’s the jingle: I can bring home the bacon/fry it up in a pan/and never let you forget you’re a man/’cause I’m a woman,
Good grief. No wonder an entire generation of women is exhausted.
Taking your foot off the gas requires courage, but the rewards are many. When we re-evaluate the meaningless things that keep us busy, we release all the tension, frustration, and anxiety we hold onto. We begin to unfold. Deep down inside, our inner thoughts find their voice. We experience calm, and we are able to engage fully, discovering parts of ourselves we never had the time to pay attention to. The result? We begin to live our best life.
But how do you break old habits and embrace slowing down? First, understand that slowing down is not laziness; it’s self-preservation. Matthew Kelly suggests you begin by taking back your Sundays. Once upon a time, it was illegal to work on the Sabbath. The Industrial Revolution changed all that by converting our agricultural society into an urban, industrial one, where machines could work 24-hours a day, and employees ran those machines in 8-hour shifts, equating time with money. Break that pattern and make Sunday the day you do not work. Period. If that’s not possible, find one hour of any day, claim it as your own, and build from there. You are worth it.
Slowing down and taming “busy” creates new space for doing what you love, but it also opens the door to deep reflection, requiring you to be alone with yourself. Trust me, it’s hard at first and I struggled with this. I felt stupid and selfish and frankly, I was scared. When you sit in silence, you start to learn things about yourself that you might not like, including old behaviors that no longer serve you. Sometimes, the quiet becomes deafening. Old defense mechanisms kick in and you start telling yourself you are just wasting your time. Like any other relationship, the one with yourself is precious, so keep showing up. Avoid interruptions. Don’t talk, listen. There’s a voice inside of you that’s dying to be heard.
And keep this in mind: Speed and busy are also the enemies of good health.
I’ve interviewed nearly 1,000 women from every walk of life, first on Magic 106.7’s “Exceptional Women” weekly show and now on my follow-up to that program, “The Story Behind Her Success” podcast and radio series. The last question I ask every woman is “how do you define success?” and here’s what I’ve learned: Our definition of success changes as we age. There are seasons in our lives, chapters that reflect the goals and dreams we value and, therefore, chase along the way. As time marches on, career accomplishments don’t matter as much as legacy, passing on what we have learned, doing good, and giving back.
But as we age, the number one thing we all wish for is more time.
Time for contentment, serenity, love, and joy. Start now by slowing down.
Press pause and savor it all.
Follow me on socials: @candyoterry @candyoterryofficial
