Never Met a Good List I Didn’t Love
By Kim Miles
There are grocery lists and holiday lists and the many lists that scroll through my mind when I’m desperately trying to fall asleep. But nothing beats a good “CRAY-CRAY LIST.”
Here are some things that make me absolutely crazy:
-Using the word “like” as an incessant filler in conversation. Want to be taken seriously in this world? Like, omit it from your, like, vocabulary.
-When someone wants to connect with you but fails to do their research beforehand. My favorite question: “So, how did you come up with the name Miles in Heels for your company?” Seriously? Have you visited my website?
-People who don’t make time for their passion in life. Cooking, music, running, I don’t care what it is, just don’t ever forget about it.
-Restaurants that don’t take reservations. What can I say? When I want to eat, I want to eat.
-People who smile in your face but tear you down behind your back. You want to hang with me? You need to be too legit to quit. I only surround myself with those who are genuinely happy for my success and equally there to support me when I fail (and vice versa).
-A poorly made cocktail. Life’s too short to waste calories on anything that tastes like lighter fluid. And, ladies: Never let anyone tell you not to send it back. You shouldn’t have to force down a cocktail for which you’ve spent $20.00.
-People who say, “I’d like to (fill in the blank), but there’s no way I could ever do that.” How do you know unless you try? Good thing Thomas Edison didn’t say that, or this magazine would have been written on parchment paper with a quill by candlelight.
-People who don’t take time to thank those who have helped them along the way. There’s no way any of us got to where we are without those who came before us, so show a little gratitude in your attitude.
-Shoes that squeak when you walk.
-People who don’t appreciate the impact of a kind word or gesture. My mother always taught me, “It only takes two seconds for you to write someone or reach out with a kind word, but the impact will last forever.”
-Red beets. (I had a nightmare as a child. Don’t ask.)
-People who don’t get up and offer a seat or help those who are elderly or pregnant.
-The word “Marlboro.” I can’t say it. Can. Not. Say. It.
-People who say, “I could care less.” What you want to say is, “I couldn’t care less” because if you COULD care less, that’s a whole different level of not caring. [Insert eye roll]
-The word “irregardless.” Irregardless is not a word.
-Broccoli rabe. Yuck.
-Non-Oxford Comma Devotees. It makes no sense to me. It’s weird, strange, bizarre, and confusing.
-Warm soda, prosecco, champagne, seltzer. Anything with bubbles. If it were stored inside a glacier, it still wouldn’t be cold enough for me.
-Anyone who tells me skinny jeans are going out of style. .
-People who ruin the end of a movie with a spoiler right after I say, “Wait, don’t tell me, I still haven’t seen it!”
-Waitstaff that checks on you every two seconds during a meal, but when you’re finished eating and want to pay the bill, they go MIA.
-Air travel. Period.
-Down pillows.
-Bad breath.
-Anyone who tries to tell me that cold, leftover pizza and coffee isn’t the best breakfast on the planet.
-Poor communicators.
-Cats. Sorry, folks.
-People who whisper so loudly in a movie that they might as well just shout. (My entire family is guilty of this.)
-People who don’t believe in writing thank-you notes.
-Anyone who tells me they aren’t a “beach person.” How is that even possible?
-The state of the union right now. It makes me very, very sad.
-Candy Crush. But only because I love it and am addicted to it. Hence, it makes me crazy.
-Only being able to wear one pair of shoes at a time. I just love them all so much…
I’ll leave you with this…
While this list could go on for several pages, I’d like to end on a positive note. For every single item that makes me crazy, there are probably a million more that make me deliriously happy. I suppose I could save that list for a future issue of the magazine. However, in the meantime, there are few things in life that make me happier than music, spending time with my family, and chocolate. (And all the people who just realized that I utilized the Oxford Comma in the last sentence just to prove a point.)
Kim is on Instagram @kimmilesinheels Visit MilesInHeels.com.
